My always changing, never consistent life

So yes, I hate that ho named Katrina. She is the most triflin of all bitches. If weather systems could have VD, she'd have the gonosyphaerpesmydia. In her eye. Why this sudden spewing of the venom? Because in the past few days, I have learned about what my future at Tulane will look like.

For anyone who hasn't yet heard, Rosen House, where I lived will not be reopened. I don't think they are ever going to use it again, because hey, it was old and busted and I don't blame them. Fine. But where will they put us lowly grad students? Where shall we live? Two options-trailers or the cruise ships. Now, I was actually pretty excited about the trailers. I figured I could string up some xmas lights outside, tie 3 or 4 stray dogs to the railing, trailer hitch or other metal protuberance on the building. I was ready to buy a 24 pack of Budweisers, chain a plastic chair out front and get down to the serious business of drankin outside. If I was going to be particularly dedicated, I'd even get an old vneck white t shirt, rub some rib sauce on the front, light up a Marlboro Red and let it dangle from my lips. If the finances were right, I was gonna spring for the velcro rollers too. I wish the van was still around, because it would just be PERFECT. (Michael, I am taking the inspiration from your first hand accounts. Don't trip.)

However, in true TU ridiculous fashion, they don't have kitchens in the trailers. I mean, I could be extra silly and cook my meals on a hot plate or on the hood of my car, but I'm just saying....cruise ship it is.

I was on a cruise once. Long ago, my broke ass parents decided to take one of those time share vacation offers. We took an 8 hour cruise from Miami to Freeport, Bahamas. I spent the entire trip in our 6'x4' cabin with 4! beds in it, alternating between puking in the 9" toilet and laying flat on my back. I couldn't lay for too long though, because if my parents had opened the door, I'da been knocked unconscious.

This is my only cruise experience. I am very afraid of what TU has in store for me. My boss also signed me up to help out around the boats, some type of RA thingie. I don't mind it all, I want to help and be useful. I also REALLY want a place to live next semester so I can graduate on time and not be the only person who came in August 2000 who is still there.

Remember though, I am not paying for this housing, OMA is. What does that mean? I'm sure my RA type job will be the shoveling of coal into the boiler in 7 hour shifts. Why? Because TU does not have love for the OMA office. And don't let the boat sink. I know they will lock my ass on the bottom floor like they did on the Titanic. I am steerage. Standing at the gates, talking about some "Please, let me out! I can swim! Shit, we next to Riverwalk, I can wade my ass there! Please!?" And I will get left, and then I will drown.

My stepdad says to me, oh well, cruise ships are really nice. You shouldn't worry. I said, do you think for one second they are going to put me in a nice cabin with a balcony and the midnight buffet? Please. Bottom row, no windows, shared bathroom, coal shoveling, cheese sandwiches.

Bamm went back to N.O. in October to clean out his apt. Lovely TU just started letting people into Rosen last week, but thats another rant... He was kind enough to check on my car, which marinated nicely in 6 feet of "toxic gumbo" (sidebar-Fox News, I hate you) He said when he opened the door, there was a hissing sound. Apparently I had a whole new ecosystem brewing in the Hyundai, and its residents did not like this new air and sunlight that Bamm let in. I can just see them now, "No no! The Big Black Man, the one we have feared the most, has come to destroy our civilization! Retreat into the mildewed recesses of the seats! Residents of our colony, Diet Coke with Lemon Can in the beverage holder, fear for your lives! Everyone hide!!!"

I miss NOLA. Including all its wierdness and quirks. What I wouldn't give to hear someone ask me, "Is you a half-breed?" or "Baby, you sho gonna have to wait" or most of all, "Say red! Big Red! Gurl, I'm talkin to you...aight den, fuck you too bitch."