Haven't posted in 2 years! But needed to get these things written down somewhere, for posterity.

Choice words spoken to me by fucking texan assholes:

Bitch: "Do you have your green card with you?"
Me: "Uh.....no. I'm not an immi...I have my drivers' license?"
Bitch: "Well, what about your social security card?"
Me: "..."
Bitch: "You are going to NEED a social security card before we can hire you."
Me: "Got it. Thanks."

Bitch #2: "Oh, YOU have a boyfriend?"
Me: "Yes, I do."
Bitch #2: "What's his name?"
Me: "Wallace"
Bitch #2: "Well, that doesn't sound Hispanic."
Me: "That's because it's not."
Bitch #2:

Bitch #3: Stares at my drivers' license for about 7 minutes
Me: "Yes, it's me. Here is my teacher ID as well as my Tulane ID."
Bitch #3: "This looks fake."
Me: "Well, it's not. NY makes their licenses floppy to make them harder to fake."
Bitch #3: Walks to bailiff of traffic court-"Does this even look real to you?!"
Me: "..."